Delayed Resolutions

Every year, I conjure up a list of the to-do’s and must-do’s for the new year,  and every year, I fail.

It’s not that I don’t start out with the best of intentions. I think most of us do, when we create a resolutions list. Life gets in the way, or I get in my own way. That’s probably why so many people scoff at resolutions.

The thing is, I cannot help myself. I’m goal-oriented, have been since the day I was born, I imagine. I like to work towards something, whether it’s short-term or long-term. Even if I fail, I still feel as though I at least tried my hand at something, instead of sitting around with no aspirations to look forward to. It’s how I’m wired.

This year, it’s been harder for me. I feel as though I’ve become a recluse since our big move this past summer. I’m less motivated. I don’t feel as connected or have a support system that will kick me on the ass or drag me out of my shell. Ultimately, I have to claw my own way out and reintroduce myself to the world, instead of hiding out.

I’ve never been good with change, and I’ve been suppressing the fact that this move was harder on me then I’ve let on, even to myself. I’d imagine most people would have a transitional period after moving from a place where you’ve lived nearly 14 years. That’s how long I’d planted roots in Nebraska. I figured I could just bury my feelings of transition and never look back. Boy, was I wrong!

Now that I’ve brooded a bit, and binge watched a plethora of Netflix shows that I’d ordinarily never give a second glance to (Gilmore Girls, anyone?) I’m ready to dust myself off. There’s no guarantee that every single goal on my own to-do list will survive the year, but that’s not entirely the point. What is, is at least giving the effort, and saying I tried.

For me, this year, I’ve got the usual on my plate. I’m training for a half-marathon right now, which will be on Valentine’s Day. I’m working hard on sticking with my schedule and doing the best I can, not focusing on a personal record or anything, but on finishing. Afterwards, I’m going to give myself a week off, and then dive into a new work out plan I’d wanted to pursue a couple of years ago, and never got around to it. The primary focus is on weight training, with cardio sprinkled in, vs. what I’m doing now, which is primarily running, with weight training sprinkled in. I’m excited to see what sort of physical and mental changes I’ll feel with doing something different.

Then there’s the reading, and my book reviews. I’m working on reading and reviewing in a more timely manner; I still feel I’m playing catch up since our summer move, and while I’ve made a dent in things, I really want to do better and be better. My latest review can be found here,  and here are some other reviews on Amazon, through Chick Lit Central.

A goal I’d set for myself last year, was to complete one of my novels I’ve been working on for years. This was something I’d considered as my “gateway novel”, the one that would set me on the right path towards creativity and structure. I never intended for it to be published. It’s mostly a memoir, meant for my friends. After sharing it with one of them (who is in it), she really feels I should try to get it published, or self-publish. I’m still on the fence, and we both agree more work needs to be done. This might be a new (or continuing) resolution for this year. Just knowing it’s a possibility… well, it feels awesome!

I want to work on my other novel, which is “finished” but nowhere near finished. It needs some serious work, and I’m very motivated to buckle down and get it out there. This one I intend on seeing through all the way to publication. So much so, I’m going to take a few writing courses at the local community college this summer, so I can learn to be a better writer.

This should go without saying, but I want to spend more quality time with my family, time that doesn’t include the tv or anything screen-related. I’d love to re-connect with my husband, even if that means playing a few rounds of rummy after the kids have gone to bed, because we’re usually so exhausted from the day that it’s all we’ve got the energy for. As much as I’m enjoying Gilmore Girls, I’m ready to stop the binge watching. I’m ready to get off my ass and move more and do more.

I’m looking forward to embracing the sunshine this year, and being honest with myself. It’s okay that I’ve felt a little lost during the transition of my life. Okay, a lot lost. But, it’s time to move forward. These resolutions are going to help me to do that, one day at a time, and hopefully, it will lend into blogging more- the last resolution on my list.

What are a few of your resolutions for 2016?