It’s Thursday. You know what that means. Please check out my weekly blog group, comprised of a fantastic group of ladies who will dazzle you with insight on various topics. After reading my post, check out their blogs as well. Just click on:
Froggie (Tracey): One frog’s distinct voice on the world around her.
Merry Land Girl (Melissa): Tales of a suburban mom who likes to talk about pop culture, books, Judaism, family, friendship and anything else that comes to mind.
Mom Of Many (Susanna): One Mom’s perspective on life, raising kids, knitting and other unrelated topics.
We’ve all been in a situation where we wish we’d had the last word with something (like in an argument or debate), and never got the chance to. For this week’s topic, I chose: What situation presented itself where you wanted to have that last word, but didn’t get the chance? Why didn’t you? And, if you had that chance again, what would you say?
This topic presented itself to me recently, while talking with a friend of mine. We were reminiscing about the past, and we brought up a situation we were both part of not too long ago.
My friend (let’s call her Lisa) had been employed with a company she’d been with over six years. She was in need of an assistant, and a young woman named Zoe (not her real name) applied for the job. Lisa and I knew Zoe through a mutual friend named Rhonda (also not a real name). Rhonda was Zoe’s mother, and put in a good word for Zoe. Zoe was an early 20-something mother of two, and had never been employed before. This was to be her first office job, and although Lisa was a little wary about Zoe’s lack of experience, she decided to give Zoe a chance.
To say Zoe was green would be an understatement. It wasn’t so much that Zoe had no experience, but more so that Zoe didn’t seem to want to prove herself. Her job required her to work weekends, and it wasn’t something Zoe was keen on. She’d cut out a little early, or when she was asked to work late due to work functions, she wouldn’t do it, leaving the job to Lisa, who was in her last trimester of pregnancy and needed the help. All too often, I’d find myself stepping in and assisting, as well as Rhonda. Lisa figured a few conversations would remedy the issue, but there was always an excuse or reason Zoe would come up with in order to get out of work.
Lisa was going to need someone to cover for her while she was on maternity leave. Lisa asked Zoe if this was something she’d be interested in, and Zoe was extremely interested. She wanted to know if this meant no more weekends for her, and Lisa said she’s talk with the higher ups and see. It was still a couple of months out, so there was no huge rush. Only, Zoe wanted to know like, NOW. Zoe sent an e-mail to the higher ups, and requested that she cover for Lisa, and also requested a pay raise and a title change, matching Lisa’s. The e-mail was not “CCed” to Lisa.
An e-mail was sent to Lisa from the higher ups, confused and bewildered. First off, they questioned why Zoe didn’t “CC” Lisa on the e-mail. Second, why did Zoe feel after only two months of employment, she would get a pay raise and a title change? Lisa was completely in the dark in regards to Zoe’s request. The higher ups decided to sucker punch Zoe a bit, by e-mailing a response to Zoe and “CCing” Lisa on it. For all to see, they let Zoe know that she would not recieve a pay raise after only two months of part time employment, and no. Zoe would not have a title change. Lisa was able to see everything that had transpired, and of course she was a little disgruntled about it. She felt suspicious. Was Zoe trying to vie for her job?
Lisa and Zoe talked about the situation shortly after. Zoe asked, “Don’t you think I should get higher pay and your title, if I cover for you?” Lisa responded with: “No. You haven’t been here long enough, and it’s only for 6 weeks. You don’t have enough experience yet. You are only covering for me while I’m gone. You aren’t replacing me.” Zoe didn’t see it that way, so the two decided to agree to disagree. Lisa also mentioned to Zoe that had she been a bit more patient, she would have had a lot of opportunities offered to her, with a possible career advancement, and that she had hoped that Zoe hadn’t done something to burn that bridge with the company.
The following week, Lisa received an e-mail from the higher ups, requesting a meeting ASAP. The next day, Lisa went to her meeting, and was beside herself. Zoe had gone in prior and held a meeting with the higher ups, citing an inability to work with Lisa, due to her feeling very uncomfortable and threatened. She said that Lisa was overly political, and talked about inapppropriate things in the work place. The conversation Zoe referenced was one I’d been a part of, it was one I had actually started. Last year was the first time I’d ever voted in my entire life, and I paid a lot of attention to the presidential debates. I was visiting and had asked the ladies their opinions, and we all contributed to the conversation. I didn’t feel that anything was said to make anyone feel belittled or uneasy, and Zoe also had a word or two to contribute with no issues. Lisa was informed that due to the allogations, her job was in jeopardy. The higher ups offered Zoe a transfer to another job site to attempt to remedy the “situation”, but Zoe did not want a transfer. She refused, and requested she remain where she was at, implying that Lisa be moved instead.
When she didn’t get her way, Zoe gave her two week’s notice, but did not fulfill the two week obligation she’d cited in her notice. She quit the day she turned in the notice. She never returned to the office, so she never had to face Lisa.
I was really pissed off. Lisa is a good friend, and she gave Zoe a chance. When Zoe didn’t get what she wanted, she decided to get back at Lisa. This severed friendships, including the one we had with Rhonda. Lisa had encountered situations where Rhonda was extremely rude and hostile after everything that had occurred. So, in late December after Lisa had her baby, I decided to message Rhonda on Facebook. I had noticed how she and Zoe had deleted both mine and Lisa’s friendship. In my message to her, I told her that Lisa had her son. I wasn’t sure if she had been informed of that or not. I told her I was saddened with how everything had turned out. I told her that I felt she didn’t have the whole story, but that in the end, it really wasn’t important. I understood that she had to stand behind her daughter, and I respected that, and wished her well.
I received an e-mail back immediately from Rhonda. She said she had heard about Lisa’s baby but thanked me for the head’s up. She told me it was I who didn’t have the whole story. She said Zoe had been fired, which I knew not to be the case. She also wished me well.
I immediately received a message from Zoe, as well. Rhonda shared my message, and Zoe was not nearly as nice or friendly. She told me to, and I quote: “…stay away from my mother. Don’t talk to my mother and stay away from my family. You don’t know anything. Why would I listen to you? You have been married 3 times and you don’t have a job. Get a job, sweetheart…”
When I read her response, I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself. That was the best she could do? I mean, those were really obvious hits. I expected her to tell me I was ugly, or old. I don’t know, something. Also, her grammar was atrocious. As in, my 2nd grader could have spelled the response out better than she had. A lot of thoughts filled my head. I’d been employed for over half my life, before quitting my job just a few months prior to pursue a new career path. This was her very first job, and she tried to get her coworker fired. Not a good way to start her career. Let’s see, there was the way she tried to control whether I conversed with her mother or not, letting me know right then and there that Rhonda had no idea of what had really happened. Rhonda had always tried to get people to befriend Zoe, and now I can see why. Zoe obviously had a hard time making friends. I wasn’t sure how I’d respond to what Zoe had said, only I never got the chance. Both ladies immediately blocked me on Facebook. I couldn’t even message them back, anything that had to do with either of them had completely disappeared.
That was the part that upset me the most. You send something, and then block me? Oh, I’m sure I could have looked for their e-mail addresses on-line, but it just wasn’t worth it. After a couple of days, I realized it was probably for the best. Maybe I should have never messaged Rhonda to begin with. And really, did I want to introduce that sort of drama into my life?
If I had my chance to respond to that message, I had the perfect thing to say. Short, sweet, and to the point.
Let me know when you are ready for a divorce lawyer. I know a really good one, sweetheart.