The Me Before I Became Me

Hello Thursday! Meet my blog group, comprised of a fantastic group of ladies  who will dazzle you with insight on various topics.  After reading my post, check out their blogs as well. Just click on:

Froggie (Tracey): One frog’s distinct voice on the world around her.

Merry Land Girl (Melissa): Tales of a suburban mom who likes to talk about pop culture, books, Judaism, family, friendship and anything else that comes to mind.

Darwin Shrugged (Denise): Civilized Observations in an Uncivilized World

Denise often comes up with thought-provoking ideas. This week is no exception with, Remember me…

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the Sara I used to be, before I morphed into the Sara I am, now. It happened after I’d found a large stash of my poetry hidden away in a shoe box. I was looking for inspiration, trying to find my way back to Sara the poet. It’s been years since I’d written a single stanza, and I needed something for my writing class.

Amidst the rather bad poetry, I saw glimmers of a young woman who surrounded herself with words. Not much has changed there. I read every day. I’ve done that for several years, but it’s never been my own works, my own words. It seems I put those aspirations away once I’d decided it was time for me to “grow up”. Get some “real” aspirations.

But why do I have to? I mean, if writing is something I’m passionate about, why stop? Why do I feel like I have to shelve the things that inspire me, if it might not measure up to some ideal of what’s acceptable or not?

Like the proverbial snowball effect, thoughts tumbled down a slippery slope of remembrance, bringing me full circle to the other things I used to enjoy, like-

Roller Skating: I could be described as a certifiable “rink rat” when I was a kid. My father DJ’ed the local roller rink, and when I wasn’t in school, I was roller skating. This went on for several years. I made some lasting friendships, had my heart broken a few (or more) times, and thrived within a very unconventional childhood. I still have my quads, passed down to me from my little sister when she outgrew them. They’re sitting in my garage right now, outdoor wheels on, ready to be worn again. Every time I see them, I’m filled with a desire to slip them on and go for a roll around the neighborhood. I swear I will, one of these days.

Singing: Singing had always been  a part of me, just like breathing. So much so, I’d annoy friends and loved ones with my constant warbling. Which is probably why I felt a little awkward during a recent karaoke stint. A friend had asked that I duet with him. He had this notion that I was the old Sara, the one who couldn’t shut up, who had a somewhat decent voice and could carry a tune. Years of choir will do that to a voice box. But, I don’t sing nearly as much as I used to, an understatement, really. Often my radio is turned off. When I listen to music, it’s during a run. My brain is always focused on the next thing, the next task, that I completely block out any opportunity to sing. And while I was a good sport and did the duet, I wasn’t near as confident as I once was. Later I went solo, choosing Young MC’s “Bust A Move”. That was a lot of fun!

I need to sing more. We all need to sing more! It doesn’t matter how you sound. Singing is good for the soul. It just feels good, whether you’re singing, screeching, or rapping to Young MC.

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Dancing: If I could figure out how to post home movies on here, I’d flood this post with my ridiculously fun dancing. I used to choreograph routines with my best friend. We’d pick random songs and come up with something we felt was very creative and artistic, wearing unique outfits she’d created. She’s a dynamite seamstress. Whenever I visit my hometown, I visit her. And whenever I visit her, we pop in the home movies, watching our antics. I enjoy dancing, still do, but there never seems to be the time for it. Or I totally embarrass my kids if I do a shuffle through a store that’s playing music, like Old Navy or the local grocer. I’ve often felt the urge to get up and bust a move, no pun intended, Young MC. I really need to just do it, even if it’s for a few minutes in the comfort of my own home.

Me in my very early 20's... dancing
Me in my early 20’s… dancing

It’s not like I’m devoid of hobbies and interests. Over the years, I’ve picked up some new ones. Like running/fitness. Blogging. Taking care of my family. I don’t want to let that go. But, I want to incorporate some of the old Sara back into my life.

I can wear my roller skates while walking with the kids to school. And while you may not see me at a karaoke bar anytime soon, it doesn’t mean I won’t be belting out my own personal rendition of some Alanis Morissette song while driving in the car. Or Nirvana. Always Nirvana.

And if you see a woman dancing in the aisles of your local grocer, just allow her to carry on. Or join her, if you’d like. Maybe you’re looking for the you before you became you, too.

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One thought on “The Me Before I Became Me”

  1. I wish I knew you when we were younger! We would have had so much fun together. I used to love roller skating too. And of course, singing and dancing. Fun times!

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