If you’ve been with me for a few years, you know I’m in good company on Thursdays. Check out this fantastic group of ladies, giving insight on various topics. After reading my post, click on:
Froggie (Tracey): One frog’s distinct voice on the world around her.
Merry Land Girl (Melissa): Tales of a suburban mom who likes to talk about pop culture, books, Judaism, family, friendship and anything else that comes to mind.
Darwin Shrugged (Denise): Civilized Observations in an Uncivilized World
Last week, I saw this in my Facebook news feed:
It was posted by Laura Chapman, an author I follow. I’ve read most of her books, reviewing them (and enjoying them) for Chick Lit Central. She’s been posting a lot of motivational writing quotes lately, the kind that makes you feel inspired.
When I saw this one in particular, it filled me to the brim with longing. There have only been a handful of times I’ve spent in a cafe, well, a Panera Bread, does that count? Sitting with a hot cup of cocoa, plugged in with my laptop, writing. When Melissa gave her topic choice for this week: Idealize what would be the ultimate “best time ever” for you. (Time and money are not an issue.), I thought of the quote Laura posted. How really, spending some quiet time, alone, writing, would be my idea of the best time ever.
I’d see my children off to school, like I always do. Kiss my husband goodbye, wish him well with his day. Pack up the laptop, making a conscious effort to remember the charger, because otherwise, I’m screwed. Since this is my “best time ever”, I’ve already magically squeezed in a shower and my house isn’t a cluttered, chaotic mess.
I don’t care where I go. I don’t even know where anything is out here, by me. I’m still feeling my way around the part of town I live in. I’m sure I’ll find something, even a Starbucks would be sufficient. Some place where I can sit and write, hot drink in hand, for a few hours. Or more.
The thing is, I’m rarely alone. Definitely not while writing. Half the time I’m hastily typing while my kids are watching something on t.v. Or I’ve convinced them to play a game, which usually lasts for ten minutes or so. There’s constant chatter, interruptions, no one knows where anything is, so they need mom to find it for them. I’m surprised I get any writing done at all, really.
And when I do write at home, I often feel guilt. Like I’m not doing the other million things I need to do, the stuff that’s lined up on my to-do list. Not to mention not spending quality time with my kids. Which I know is stupid, considering how much time we spend together daily. I know I’m a great mom, but I still feel the guilt.
In my “best time ever” scenario, there is no guilt, only creativity. My children are well, everyone is happy. My oldest boy enjoys writing short stories. Maybe he’d come along and join me in my cafe excursions. It can be something special we share together.
Totally true. Someday, I will figure out how to balance the loves of my life, so I can live my “best time ever”, every single day.