This morning, while lying in bed and listening to the noise and chaos outside my bedroom door, I was reminded of my thoughts and ideals, the images I’d conjure up in my head while pregnant with my youngest boy. I remember wondering how my two sons would interact, if they would get along. I’d flash forward roughly five years. What would my unborn child look like? Would my five-year old (now ten, thanks to time progression) get along with his little brother?
I then recalled the dream premonitions I had while pregnant. I used to hear other people talk about how they knew with certainty what sex their children would be, how they’d look, and I never took much stock in it, not until I was in those shoes.
I knew my firstborn would be a boy, even before I conceived. Years before conception was even a blip on my radar. I was twelve when I knew with certainty I’d name my firstborn son, Benjamin. The name was a no brainer for me. He’d be named after my war hero great-grandfather, Benjamin Prentiss. When I first discovered I was pregnant at twenty-six, I knew with everything in me that I was going to have a son. I just… knew. So much so, that my then-husband never questioned me. I think he knew it, too. When his own war hero grandfather passed away shortly after we’d found out I was pregnant, he requested that we name our son after him. Willard. Then we compromised. Our son would be named Benjamin Willard.
While pregnant for the 2nd time, I was convinced I was having a girl. Everything about the pregnancy was so vastly different from the first go around. I felt more hormonal. I attributed that to another female trying to stake claim inside my body. Around four months along, however, I had a dream that I was at an indoor pool. No one was swimming. The pool was full of babies, wrapped in either pink or blue blankets. A few people were standing in the shallow waters, handing out babies to random individuals who were standing in various lines, waiting their turn to hold their respective babies. When I made it to the edge of the pool, the woman responsible for my line reached down and picked up a tiny little infant, swaddled in blue. When she handed him to me, I asked, “Are you sure? Shouldn’t I have a girl?” And the woman merely shrugged. When I woke up, I felt disoriented. Was this one of those coveted premonition dreams I’ve heard other women speak of?
Apparently so. At our first ultrasound, my doctor confirmed that my husband and I were having a baby boy. I was still in disbelief over it, if you can believe that. All I had to go on was a strange dream. When I questioned my doctor, he said: “You see that medical diploma over there, hanging on the wall? I’ll bet my diploma that you’re having a boy.”
A couple of months later, growing a vastly large tummy and adjusting to the thought of having another little boy to contend with, I had another dream. This time, I was holding a pale-skinned, chubby little pint-sized infant on my lap, clad only in a diaper. I’d say he was roughly a year old. His head was practically bald, and his eyes were hard to decipher. I couldn’t tell if they were blue, or green, but I knew with certainty they weren’t brown, like his big brother’s. This was my baby boy, the one currently inside me. Later, I told my husband about the dream. I told him we’d have a blondie, and he said he wasn’t convinced. He was fairly certain our boy would have light brown hair. And he was partially right. When our little guy was born, he did have brown hair. Dark, curly brown hair.
Our boy Nolan Robert, who will be five in October, has blond hair, and hazel green eyes. And as you can imagine, given the noise and chaos outside my bedroom door, my two boys don’t always get along. I always wondered how those two would do, considering the age difference between them, but I imagine they are doing just fine, all things considered. They are rambunctious and nutty, how I imagine most pre pubescent boys to be and there is love there. There is a lot of love there, even among the bickering.
I’d love to hear from you. Did you have premonitions while pregnant?