This is me the past few weeks.
Any time I have issues with sleep, I am reminded of Bart Simpson and his fear of clowns. Sometimes when I’m tossing around in my bed, I think of this saying. At least I can put a comical spin to my shitty insomnia. I’ve had this since I was a teenager. I was fifteen when I first sought out the guidance of a sleep specialist, and after charting my sleep patterns for a month and giving me the same tools you read about online even to this day (sleep with white noise, don’t have the clock facing you when you’re sleeping, go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time every night, don’t drink water right before bed or watch television right before bed, watch what you eat before bed, your bed is for sleep (and sex, although this wasn’t relevant when I was fifteen) only, etc.) it was determined that I am not like the others who require 7+ hours of sleep. Six will do me just fine and I can get by on five. Zero though? Yeah. NO SLEEP is an entirely different situation. Anyway, I remembered when I wrote something for myself in an attempt to give myself a pep talk of sorts, in order to get at least a few hours of sleep, hoping that would lead into more and more sleep. I wrote this as a note in Facebook back in 2010, and even though four years have gone by I think it’s still worth reading even now, when the rest of the world sleeps and I’m getting up out of bed constantly and trying to do calming, quiet things in order to get myself all sleepy. If you’re suffering from insomnia, maybe this will help you, too. No one wants to sleep with the clowns.
There are nights where I have trouble sleeping… and one night, I decided to write this to myself… and on days where I feel crazy, or nights where I start to think too much, I re-read what I wrote… maybe some of this will help you on nights you can’t sleep….
1. Stop over-analyzing things. You work yourself up over something, that ends up being nothing. It’s not ever so bad that you can’t handle it. And most times, it will end up being nothing.
2. You are a good person, and you try your best, but there will be times that you make mistakes. There will be times you may choose to do the wrong thing, and that’s ok, because you are human, and that’s what humans do. They stumble and try to find their way through this life, and they go by trial and error, and you are only doing what you can. If you make a mistake, and you see it, then you know the right way to go after that mistake. And that’s ok.
3. You have the choice to do what you want in your life, no one else has the right to tell you otherwise. If you are upset about something, change it. If you want your life to go down a different path, make it happen. Only you have that power, no one else. No one else has the power to make you feel a certain way, or behave a certain way. No one can take that from you, so don’t let them.
4. You have the power to change your life at any time. It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how deep in something you are. It can be at any point in your life, so don’t let where you are dictate what you do. You can always turn it around, at any time.
5. Trust in love. Trust in friendship. Trust in your faith in God. Trust that He is looking out for you, and when you have something thrown at you, it’s a test and a lesson learned. Trust in your family, and appreciate what you have in your life. Don’t overlook what you’ve been given. Covet that.