Hello Thursday! Meet my blog group, comprised of a fantastic group of ladies who will dazzle you with insight on various topics. After reading my post, check out their blogs as well. Just click on:
Froggie (Tracey): One frog’s distinct voice on the world around her.
Merry Land Girl (Melissa): Tales of a suburban mom who likes to talk about pop culture, books, Judaism, family, friendship and anything else that comes to mind.
For this week, Melissa asked: How do you act your age? Are there ways you act older or younger than your age?
As a child, I was always the mature one. I blame that on my upbringing. I took on the sort of responsibilities no little kid should. When I’d visit my grandparents on the weekends, little sis in tow, my grandma would often pull me aside and tell me to “be a kid”. She knew how things were in my household, while living with my mom. She wanted me to relax and “lighten” up at the ripe old age of 8.
As I grew, my maturity shrunk. I acted out, big time. My teen years were a blur of parties, underage drinking, skipping school (I still say the truancy laws went into effect because of me) and insanity. I know now I was merely trying to re-live a childhood I never had, but I was going about it the wrong way.
The first time I truly felt adulthood was when I moved from my home state of Oregon, to Arizona. I put my childish whims on a shelf, and drove the little purple Hyundai Accent (I nicknamed him Barney) to Phoenix, packed to the brim with as many belongings as I could. I lived with my then boyfriend for a brief time, and even though I was the chick in the relationship, I knew I had to man up. I got a great job, and was damn good at it. I ended up with my own apartment. I took care of myself, which made me feel very mature for my 20 years.
The first time I held my newborn son in my arms, I surpassed adulthood. This was a new emotion that left me speechless. I will never forget the way he looked at me, large brown eyes slowly blinking, taking in his surroundings. I was his protector, the one who would guide him through life and teach him how to be a responsible man. That’s a lot to put onto someone’s shoulders, and I took the job seriously, and I still do. In a lot of ways, I feel that’s aged me, double (I have two boys to help mold into kick ass men) and there are many days where I feel as though I’m incredibly old. And tired. I don’t feel 35. I feel 95.
Regardless, there are moments where I still feel uninhibited and young. Playing in the snow or in the rain always makes me feel like a kid again. Certain songs take me back, and the emotions that fill me are the same ones I felt while listening to the music years back, no matter how old. Playing tag with my boys. Visits with my grandma (she’s almost 80, and I still feel like I’m just a little girl when I’m with her). Watching stupid teen shows, or reading the same books I used to read when I was a lot younger (I recently went through a renewed Judy Blume phase).
Moments when I feel old: My boys, when I have to discipline them, or harp on them. God, I hate that. I sound obnoxious. Telling younger friends, “When I was your age…” and realizing that was over a decade ago. Not understanding the fashion concepts of today, when all I really want is the flannel shirts and overalls of yesterday. Not being able to stay up past a certain time because my body can’t handle it anymore (and I know the boys will be up bright and early, regardless of what time I went to bed).
Most of us flit between feeling young and feeling old on a daily basis, and all for varied reasons. I really like this quote, and I want to work at achieving it:
So, how do YOU act your age? Do you feel younger, or older than your age?