‘When the Levee Breaks” is a song written by Kansas Joe McCoy and Memphis Minnie in 1929. You may have heard this song re-worked by Led Zeppelin:
It’s a really cool song, actually, regarding the Great Mississippi Flood of 1927.
I thought of this song on Saturday, while my head was hanging in a toilet. I could very much see a resemblance.
Leading up to my own Great Flood of 2013, I had a lot going on and was feeling overworked and overwhelmed. When I feel overworked and overwhelmed, I get no sleep. Add those three elements together, and you have a cocktail for a major sickness disaster. Key the aches and pains, which I chalked up to soreness from my workouts, which had increased tremendously over the past few weeks. I felt more tired and lethargic, but when you have kids that happens.
Friday night my stomach started to feel sick, with a sour tinge. I’ll spare you the gruesome details because I’m sure you get the gist of things, but I was holed up on my bed and felt as though there was an imaginary chain holding me to the bathroom. Saturday was my son’s birthday party, adding another element of debacle to my situation. In all his 8 years of life, I’ve never missed a birthday party. Until this Saturday, where I had to ask him into my bedroom (and he asked, “What smells in here?”. Oh God). I told him that as much as I wanted to go to his party, I was just too sick to go. My kid patted my blanket-covered foot (there was no way he’d get close to my face, and I don’t blame him) and said, “Mom, it’s OK. I just want you to get better.” I was in tears when he left me. I felt so guilty and like the shittiest mother on the planet. He had a great time according to the photos I saw later, but still. When you are a mother, you find a way, right? This time though, I just couldn’t.
Sunday was Mother’s Day (Happy Mother’s day to those reading this, by the way. I hope you had a fabulous, wonderful day that in no way resembled mine). I didn’t feel as sick but I still felt sick, and tired, and lethargic, and just drained of energy. When all you can keep down is a handful of oyster crackers and a little bit of yogurt, it does a number on you. Coincidentally, my son’s actual birthday was on Mother’s Day, so we all went out for a celebratory lunch for the both of us. I picked at my salad, applesauce, rice, and bread. I didn’t want to get anything that might upset my stomach, and I sat in a fog while he blew out his number 8 candle on his brownie and ice cream confection. Again, I wished I could have been there more for him in spirit, and not just in body, if that makes sense.
Today I am starting to feel human again. I was able to pick up the house and do some laundry, tasks that would normally take minutes to complete. It’s almost lunch time, and I am sitting here resting while my toddler runs around the house wreaking havoc on everything it took all morning for me to clean up. What was I thinking???
This weekend sucked, from my perspective anyway. I didn’t get the birthday experience with my boy that I wanted, I was in a fog on Mother’s Day, and I wish that I could have sucker-punched the damn virus that got it’s claws into me this past week, but what can you do? I’m such a planner, but I will never be able to plan for this. Sometimes, bad things happen and you just have to roll with it. The silver lining is: my sons are awesome and don’t seem scarred by my lack of presence, and my husband stepped up to the plate and did the best he could to make this weekend happen. I have supportive friends who understood and checked on me to make sure I was still alive. There’s nothing better than discovering just how cool your family and your friends are.
Well, other than sucker-punching viruses. I’d imagine that would be fantastic!