Man, have I been in a mood!
I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the weather. The great shift from balmy days to winter coat scenarios always seem to throw me off and put me into seasonal misbehave. Or, it could be the simple fact of my female existence, as I’m sure any man would first point a finger at. PMS, anyone?
For whatever reason, I’ve been a little bluesy, and not in a musical way.
The cherry on top of my “woe is me ice cream sundae” was this morning, as I was driving Ben to school. A Jeep Wrangler was in front of us, driving slower than molasses. I’m not sure if the driver was male or female, only that this driver wasn’t holding up on the “it’s a Jeep thing; you wouldn’t understand” mentality. Jeep driver was scared, and would stop abruptly, speed up, and then stop again. Maybe a student driver? I was so annoyed. Than the Jeep stopped and let multiple cars out of the school parking lot, which would have been fine if A. we didn’t have the right of way, and B. I wasn’t running late. Finally, a school bus waved us forward, most likely confused as to why this Jeep wasn’t pulling forward to the car line.
I am sure I said a few expletives under my breath, I know I said a ton of them in my head. A friend of mine was driving out of the car line, and I pretended to stab myself in the head with something sharp and pointy. She laughed when she saw me, and nodded in agreement. She felt my pain. I’m sure Ben has a tardy today now, which only bothered me more.
This scene set the stage for the rest of my morning. Although I got over it, I still had this underlying irritation inside of me. I was really pissed off. I’m sure if I had someone to vent to, I would have.
Later, I happened on this quote, and it really had me thinking:
“Nothing that we despise in other men is inherently absent from ourselves. We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or don’t do, and more in light of what they suffer.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer
The thing is, this morning really wasn’t a big deal. So what that this Jeep annoyed the hell out of me? I mean, seriously? Why would I hold onto those angry feelings and let it ruin my day? People are going to be obnoxious from time to time, and I’m sure the driver of that Jeep had no clue I was irritated. Why would they be? They have their own lives, and maybe there was a valid reason for the erratic driving today. And, if I had to be completely honest, my driving isn’t stellar. I’m sure I’ve pissed off a few people (and been flipped the bird at) during my lifetime while behind the wheel. Why do I hold onto grudges, when in essence the grudge will only hurt ME?
Not only that, but is this the behavior I want my son to bear witness to? I don’t claim to be infallible, and I want him to see the human side to me, but this encompasses the COMPASSIONATE side to me as well. Yes Ben, that driver is driving crazy, but it’s OK. We’ll give that driver a crazy pass today.
I want to practice tolerance. I want to just let things go that drive me batty. When someone does something to anger me, don’t take it so personal because chances are, it really isn’t about me.
That’s my quote for the day, and I’m going to try and practice it to the best of my ability.
Until someone pisses me off again.