A long time ago, I remember hearing as a child that I’d end up either related to someone, or knowing someone who has cancer. For many years I felt untouched by the big C because although I would read blog posts, articles or hear stories from other people, I’d never had to think much of it beyond those parameters.
It changes your outlook when it’s someone close to you.
She’s a friend of mine who I’ve known for over a decade. We were co-workers for several years and she stood in as my mother at one of my weddings. Although we haven’t been as close recently due to the natural order of things (kids. work. life.) it was still devastating news when she told me she has small cell carcinoma in her lungs.
I was in utter shock. See, I’m no good with this shit. Seriously. I call myself retarded when it comes to bad news and I honestly had no idea what to say, other than the obligatory crap people say when they try to make someone feel better. None of that measured up in my eyes, though. None of that was good enough or decent enough. The whole situation pissed me off and I am still angry. I don’t want her to be sick. I know that no one deserves cancer, OK? I understand that and I wouldn’t wish cancer onto even my worst enemies, but I truly don’t feel that SHE deserves it. Of course, I said to myself, “Why her?” and I felt even angrier.
I couldn’t sleep last night. I cried during some of it. I did a ton of research on the computer, discovering new ways to torture myself with all the data compiled on small cell carcinoma. Apparently it’s a pretty nasty cancer to have. I talked with two good friends who were also co-workers of mine and the four of us spent many years together supporting one another through a lot.
And here we were again.
Those who have read my blog may have read the post I did regarding random acts of kindness. In it, a lovely woman by the name of Bev supported me through my cancer scare a few months back:
Bev also has small cell carcinoma, and while she was given just weeks to live and was so weak she couldn’t even make it out of the hospital, she’s now over a year cancer-free. When she told me this yesterday as I relayed my friend’s situation to her, I could have kissed the woman! There’s hope, and I quickly connected Bev and my friend together.
I got some sleep last night, and now I’m on fix it mode. What can I do to help my friend? I’ve offered to attend one of her treatments so she has someone to talk to. I plan to visit her very soon. Maybe cook her some meals or cook some here at home and deliver them to her house. I don’t know if she’d want me to do that based on my cooking skills, though. The goal is to help her feel better, not worse.
If any of you out there are reading this, maybe you can pass along to me suggestions on what I can do to assist her, yet not to where I’m too pushy or overly obnoxious. Maybe you’ve been in a similar situation. I could use the advice, trust me.