The Old “Grass Is Always Greener” Debate

Me in my wilder days

I have joined a fantastic group of ladies, who are involved in a weekly blog project. Every Thursday, we will dazzle you with our insight on various topics. And each week, we take turns coming up with the idea for the blog topic. Please check out their blogs as well, listed under my Blogroll section. Just click on:

Froggie (Tracey): One frog’s distinct voice on the world around her.

Merry Land Girl (Melissa): Tales of a suburban mom who likes to talk about pop culture, books, Judaism, family, friendship and anything else that comes to mind.

Mom Of Many (Susanna): One Mom’s perspective on life, raising kids, knitting and other unrelated topics.

This week, Tracey’s topic idea: What is something you have a tendency to romanticize?

I have a few friends who do not have children, either by choice or by situation.

I’m not sure if I’m using the word “romanticize” correctly, but I’ll tell you what: spending time with my cronies who do not have to chase after runny noses and poopy diapers has given me much to romanticize and fantasize about.

When I don’t have my little entourage aged 7 and under with me, I briefly remember what it was like to walk out the door sans diaper bag. And sippy cup. And toys. And wipes. Diapers. I’ll stop now.

I recall the peace and quiet. Getting to choose where I wanted to go, without fear of screaming and whining.  There was no time restriction. If I wanted to eat dinner at 10pm, I wasn’t concerned about anyone else but myself and my own needs.

The times my friends sans kids invite me out are times I feel as though I have received a special pass, allowing me to go back to the age of 26 (before kids). I’m not constantly supervising, or worrying about someone getting into something they shouldn’t, or that an eye might get poked out of an eye socket. It truly feels like I’ve been given the most valued gift of all; the gift of TIME.

When I am spending time with said friends, and I DO have my precious angel boys with me, I imagine what it must be like to not have the type of responsibilities that come with being a parent. I can almost taste that feeling, when I am living vicariously through these friends of mine who make dinner reservations at fancy restaurants late into the evening. I love hearing their stories of 10pm movie nights and getting to sleep in, SLEEP IN until late in the morning!!! I sit and listen with rapt attention, my mouth hung open in a silent “O” of envy, while my boys are dancing around me, screaming and screeching and wanting me to fetch them food or listen to some fart joke. For those brief moments, I can actually block out the noise and pull up my own memories from long ago. I can’t remember the last time I slept in past 8am, and that was because my husband was being a sweetheart and letting me rest. He really tried his best, but soon my youngest found his way to the bedroom door and well, the rest as they say is history.

I romanticize what it must be like to not have children. There, I’ll admit it!

BUT….

The times I do have freedom from my boys, are the times I miss them terribly. The occasions I have without them, are the moments I am clueless as to what I should do. So much of my life and my days are wrapped around them, and their happiness. The times my oldest boy is with his father, my house feels and sounds so empty. My toddler is a little tornado, but he’s MY tornado and I wouldn’t change his personality one bit.

I will forever miss the days I only had myself to tend to, yet I know in my heart I am a different person than I was ten years ago. Those same luxuries would not feel like luxuries if I received them daily. When I get time away, it feels as though I’ve been given such a gift, and I can really revel in it and appreciate it.

It’s really all about the life experiences we’ve had, and what we want in life, and what’s important to each individual, and if I had to make a guess, the grass is always greener for EVERYONE. I’m not the exception. It’s fun to romanticize and imagine, or in some cases remember what it used to be like but it’s about appreciating what you have, and what you’ve been given and doing what works right by you.

As for me?

I’ll be over here, tending to these two crazy monkeys!

Yes, that’s Nolan in the dryer. He thought it would be fun to climb in there.
Always expressing something!

 

 

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2 thoughts on “The Old “Grass Is Always Greener” Debate”

  1. Nolan is such a cutie patootie. LOL!
    I know what you mean….there’s this balance between not getting a moment to yourself just to take a shower and when you do get time away, only thinking about your kids. When my husband and I went on a mini-vacay when our oldest was 6 months, I missed him so much and thought about him the entire time. You can’t escape your kids, even when you want to. 🙂
    At least we have the memories of our days before kids, right? 🙂
    Great post!!!

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