So, here’s how this went down:
I was minding my business. I was set to run four miles- and did the usual trek I take, around my neighborhood. There’s a path that winds around between houses- one of those special glitzy passageways some communities build for their residents. It was still dark out. I decided for safety reasons to bypass the path, and stick to roads. 2 miles, done. I was winding my way back to complete the journey home, and noticed it had lightened up a bit.
Take the path back?
Sure, why not?
At the head of the path sat a goose. Right in the middle. Not to the side. Not in the grass. He sat right smack in the middle, as if he owned the path. A creek runs alongside the path, so I assumed that was where his home was. No problemo. I start to slow down as I notice he’s not moving, and looking me square in the eye. I don’t want to start a fight with this dude, so I go off the path, and run in the grass next to him.
He was a big guy- this goose. Hell, maybe it was a female. I don’t know. Don’t care. All I know is, passing him meant sudden death. He extended his neck out, long and lean, and started to run with the limberness of any marathon runner. I had never seen such a thing. His wings started to flap as he chased after me, gaining speed- this goose was gaining speed! I started to run faster, and so did he! I picked up the pace even more, looking back to make sure he wasn’t on my heels, but he was! I decided it was do or die time, and I went full hilt, and soon he started slacking. I stopped after a while and looked back, and he was no where to be seen.
No, this isn’t like a horror flick, where all of the sudden the goose will come at me from behind a bush or something. BAM!!!! That was the last I saw of him, and I slowly started jogging home. Another runner passed me, going in the opposite direction. As we passed, I warned her about the killer goose up ahead- and she looked at me as though I’d gone ape shit.