Dream…. Dream, Dream, Dream….

I have joined a fantastic group of ladies, who are involved in a weekly blog project. Every Thursday, we will dazzle you with our insight on various topics. And each week, we take turns coming up with the idea for the blog topic. Please check out their blogs as well, listed under my Blogroll section. Just click on:

Froggie (Tracey): An experiment in knitting, writing- and life

Merry Land Girl (Melissa): Tales of a suburban mom who likes to talk about pop culture, books, Judaism, family, friendship and anything else that comes to mind.

Mom Of Many (Susanna): One Mom’s perspective on life, raising kids, knitting and other unrelated topics.

This week, my topic of choice was: “What would be your dream job?”

When I was a little girl, I was spending a lot of time with my mother, watching soap operas. She was a huge fan. Young and the Restless. Days of our Lives. She would get enraptured. I would watch the actresses, with keen eyes. Many times I’d go over to our door length mirror, and stand in front of it, pretending I was an actress. I’d bat my eyes, and pretend I was in some horrific scene where I just found out my lover had been cheating on me with my sister, and my cousin. Who in turn was pregnant with my lover’s baby, and hadn’t told anyone.

I would have someone grab a camera, and demand they take pictures of me, as I stood there and posed and did funny things, just like the famous people did. I thought for many years I would someday become famous. I made sure to enroll in theatre when I was in middle school, and into high school as well. I was a definite thespian. Where was my big break?

A few things happened to me, on that path. First off, I fell into a crowd that skipped school. A lot. I’m not going to say they were a “bad” crowd, because I had a ton of fun doing it. But it happened all the same, which meant goodbye theatre classes. My drama teacher could barely look at me. He was incredibly disappointed. Secondly, I started to discover other aspects of life I enjoyed (aside from skipping). Writing was something I had been doing for years, and had fallen in love with. Writing didn’t care what I looked like, what size I wore, or if I hit all my marks or stood in the right place on stage. And lastly, and most importantly, I realized my privacy was more valuable to me than I ever thought it could be. I have a choice what I show to others in what I blog. Actors get stalked, harassed, worshipped, or shit on, all in the same week! I didn’t want to even think to put myself in that situation. I could just hear my relatives now: “She was such a good girl when she was young, and once high school hit, she started to hang with the wrong crowd….”

In 2001, a crappy movie called Full Ride was partially filmed at University of Nebraska-Omaha, and I was an extra in the movie. I didn’t get paid. A friend of mine and I decided to show up cattle call style, and we sat in the bleachers for hours, on a very hot summer day, doing as we were told:

That’s the closest I’ve ever come to my dream. And that’s really fine by me. I was never meant to be the next Elizabeth Taylor (not that anyone could ever fill those shoes). I’m sure there is something great waiting for me, just around the corner… but I don’t mind taking my time to get there.

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