Living Life Outside The Box

Hello Thursday! Meet my blog group, comprised of a fantastic group of ladies  who will dazzle you with insight on various topics.  After reading my post, check out their blogs as well. Just click on:

Froggie (Tracey): One frog’s distinct voice on the world around her.

Merry Land Girl (Melissa): Tales of a suburban mom who likes to talk about pop culture, books, Judaism, family, friendship and anything else that comes to mind.

Darwin Shrugged (Denise): Civilized Observations in an Uncivilized World

For this week, Tracey’s topic choice is: Life begins at the end of your comfort zone…

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That sits on my dresser. I see it every morning when I start my day. A friend gave this sticker to me along with a couple of running shirts, so I assume this quote is meant for those who are fitness-driven. I see it as so much more than that.

Going beyond your comfort zone doesn’t always mean going balls to the walls. Some days, it’s just making it through. There are mornings where I don’t feel as though I have much to give to the outside world or even to myself. Maybe I had a rough night. I suffer from insomnia, so that’s a likely occurrence for me. Sometimes I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, or blame it on my hormones. There are days where I want to stay in bed and keep myself burrowed beneath the covers, yet I have to venture out. So much depends on my existence. I have to push myself. Usually, I’m a driven person who thrives on her accomplishments, no matter how big or small. There are those days, though….

Since quitting my job nearly two years ago to stay home full-time with my boys, I’ve noticed I’m not nearly as personable as I once was. I had worked in property management for over a decade. My daily grind consisted of meeting up with residents and prospective residents whom I’d never laid eyes on before. Total strangers. I would show apartments, deal with conflicts. I had a lot of self-confidence. Over time, I feel as though I’ve lost some of that. I’m sure not having a grown-up atmosphere has contributed a great deal. I have friends who are stay at home moms, and like me, they lead busy lives so we don’t always meet up as often as we’d like to. And even where there is a group gathering, I notice the pangs of shyness (a totally foreign feeling for me) and nervousness at the prospect of dealing with a lot of people. This has never been who I am. When I was a child, I was always center stage and never felt awkward. Here I am in my mid-30’s (is 36 still mid-30’s?) and I’m dealing with introverted anxiety!

I still go, though. The shyness doesn’t always make an appearance, but when it does I push on through it. I know that chances are, I’ll get to feeling more comfortable and those strange feelings will subside.

Even with writing. Putting my words out there for everyone to see and critique is daunting, as I’m sure it is for most writers. Even the most accomplished ones but most of us still do it. The alternative is keeping quiet and stifling our passion, which in my world is not an option, not ever.

Going back to that fitness-driven quote… this certainly applies. It’s not always easy to lace up my Brooks and get my ass in gear. I want to give up, I want to cut back on the amount of miles I’m required to do. The recent cancellation of my obstacle course race was a big blow for me, and I could have thrown in the towel and stopped the training.  Yesterday I was seriously considering it. What’s the point? It’s easier to ___________ (fill in the blank with any number of alternatives). Sometimes we have to go beyond the comforts of what we find safe and easy. Maybe the continuation of my training will lead to something bigger and better, and I want to be ready for that. Even if it’s not the easiest.

There will come a day when I cannot do any of this. In the meantime, I’m going to do the best job I can, even when it gets rough. Sometimes, though,  it’s merely the getting through it that matters the most.

 

 

 

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2 responses

  1. I love your take on this topic! :) I know what you mean about just wanting to chill out sometimes and do nothing and feeling you have to push yourself anyway.

  2. Nice post.  The path of least resistance is full of nothing at all.  I’m changing. I’m being rewired, everyday is interesting to see what new is going to be revealed or reconnected or reawakened within me.

    I know I have the fight of my life ahead of me, but at least hope has come into me. I have a chance now!  It’s like I’ve been in like a coma and am slowly awakening.

    A miracle.

    I ordered another book, The Lyme Diet.  I have to order the herbs I need, and supplements, and probiotics.  But I’m really excited to educate myself about FOOD!!!  I struggle so bad with food.  I can’t wait to absorb valuable information about food and lyme. Whats okay and good and what to stay away from.  I have horrible eating problems.  I have to change.

    The book is going to be awesome for me to read.  I will begin to look at food as medicine.  I have no regular schedule of when I eat and sleep.  This will be addressed. It’s problematic. 

    I didn’t get this sick all at once and feel pretty mellow and patient working toward my goal of getting this under control.  There is no easy way out, no path of least resistance, it’s complex and requires a sort of discipline unlike I’ve never practiced in my life. I have no choice.  There is no other way. Patient, persistence, keeping the eye on the prize.

    IF and I mean IF, it doesn’t work and I continue to deteriorate, at least I’ll KNOW in my heart I utilized everything I have and gave everything I had to get better.  

    I’ve been trying to pass the days and keep my attitude and spirit in check.  That’s challenging.  I listen to a lot of music, I actually played guitar tonight.

    I’m in transition. I’m patient.  I want it slowly or else I will feel overwhelmed and that feeling will undermine my confidence, and it could so easily turn into dominoes falling.  No no no, I don’t want that.  Easy does it. Steady as I go.

    Whatever is happening is happening in a beautiful organic way and I’m letting it unfold and embracing it.  I have a long hard battle ahead, so you know I think my instincts are pacing myself.  I feel alive.  I have purpose.  I have power.  It’s going to get so much stronger and stronger.  

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