I saw this quote the other night, and I really identified with it. Benny had a lot of famous sayings, but none that hit home with me as much as this one.
Truth is, you have to change. It’s the way life works, and you can either accept the change and deal with it, or push against it. I’m the type who HATES change. When I make a decision, that’s it. Game over, and because I’m such a stubborn ass and want to always “stick with it for the long haul”, I get myself into these situations I affectionately refer to as “THE RUT”.
I’ve been in a rut, friends. For the past few months (and I hate to even admit this out loud, but here it goes) I’ve lost my passion for marathon training. Not for running per se, but marathons. It’s been creeping up on me, and I’ve been coming up with excuses. “The weather is bad, I can’t run.”
“It’s too dark.”
“I didn’t sleep well last night. I’ll run tomorrow.”
And tomorrow always turns into the next day, and the next day after that. Soon, I find I’ve gone DAYS without running, and now I’m here, with a bum hip that most likely sprung from the lack of training I’ve put in. The Kansas City Marathon will be the 3rd race I’ve participated in. The prior two (Omaha, Des Moines) could be counted as some of the biggest accomplishments of my life, and I don’t take any of this lightly. I love the running, I love the dedication, but lately I feel… stuck. The same deadlines, the same mileage that has to be accomplished in order to be ready for the race. The hours I spend away from home in order to get it done, and it’s taking a toll on me, and on my family. I miss the mornings with my kids, and with my husband, God love him. He put up with me for the last few years while I am out running an 18-miler, supporting me. My little guy will say, “Are you going to go lun Mommy?” (yes, he says “lun” for “run”, and it’s so damn cute).
I’ve felt… restless. I’ve never been much for thrill seeking, but I’ve discovered just how much excitement I derive from fitness, and maybe it’s time for me to explore. As I mentioned in my last post, I want to participate in Hard Charge next year- and yesterday, I was asked if I’d be interested in participating in a yoga competition next year. That’s something that is entirely outside of what I’m used to, but it’s a challenge, and I want to be challenged. It’s time for me to step outside of my comfort zone, outside of the security of the double digit miles, and try something new.
I’m not hanging up my running shoes. Far from! I can envision a half marathon, sprinkled in with some 5k’s or a 10K or two. I can’t say for sure, but I will never stop running. I just need to take a break. Like Benny said, When you’re finished changing, you’re finished… and I don’t want to be finished. It’s time for a change, and I want to embrace it! I will still be a mom on the run…. but running on a different course, and it’s okay.
What changes do you feel you need to make in your life? Any new challenges you want to take on? New discoveries?